The Subway Knows When You Let Go of the Handrail

I had a family member visiting me in town a week ago, and to my eternal discredit I forgot to give her the Eight Tips before she got on a subway train. Of course the train lurched badly at the exact same instant she innocently chose to stand up. Powerless, I watched her plant her face directly into the cleavage of a Caribbean woman seated next to her.

But it did make me wonder: do you ever notice the all-too-common coincidence that whenever a tourist lets go of the handrail, that's the exact instant that the train lurches?

The only possible conclusion is that the subway knows at all times exactly when you let go of the handrail. And it's waiting, just waiting, to put you into a position of maximum humiliation.

Hold onto something at all times!!